Book Review - Losing Mum and Pup

My dear friend, Merry, was shocked and dismayed to learn that I had not yet read Losing Mum and Pup: A Memoir by Christopher Buckley.  She insisted on running straight to the bookstore to buy a copy for me, emphatically stating, “The Buckleys are THE preppy family!” 

What a delight!  The only child of conservative icon, William F. Buckley, Jr. and New York social doyenne, Pat Buckley, Christopher Buckley has written a beautiful memoir about the last days of his larger-than-life parents.  A parent’s death is a subject that has the potential to be awfully sad, not my preferred kind of read.  Instead, Buckley tells his story with his typical humor and irreverence, leaving me wanting more.

The back cover reads, “In twelve months between 2007 and 2008, Buckley coped with the passing of his dad, William F. Buckley, and his mother Patricia Taylor Buckley.  He was their only child and their relationship was close and complicated.  Writes Buckley: “They were not---with respect to every other set of loving, wonderful parents in the world---your typical mom and dad.”  Just as Calvin Trillin and Joan Didion gave readers solace and insight into the experience of losing a spouse, Christopher Buckley offers consolation, wit, and warmth to those dealing with the death of a parent—all while telling his unique, personal story of living with legends.”

Mrs. Buckley was a New York society doyenne for five decades.  I grew up reading my grandmother’s W magazines (still in newspaper format) and was therefore quite familiar with the images of the “chic and stunning Mrs. Buckley” that graced nearly every edition.  Upon reading the first pages of the book, I was surprised to find that she hailed from Vancouver, British Columbia.  The female Vancouver WASP is a rare breed.  They are known for their practicality and endlessly quotable declarative statements.  Readers will be delighted to discover the depth of this ‘staunch character’ and perhaps find themselves repeating her pithy dictums.

Prolific author, newspaper columnist, television host, mayoral candidate, and founder of National Review, William F. Buckley, Jr. was the voice of the conservative movement in the United States for half a century.  His myriad professional accomplishments boggle the mind.  This powerhouse of a man was also an avid sailor, a gifted linguist and musician, and a devoted Roman Catholic.  He was also very human.  His son openly relates both funny and heart-wrenching episodes of the family’s contentious relationships with one another.  Men like “WFB” don’t come along often enough.

But what made the Buckleys so preppy? 

Background certainly.  Mr. Buckley hailed from a large Roman Catholic family whose oil money was made by his father.  His young years were spent living in Mexico, France, and England.  The family later moved to Sharon, Connecticut which he considered to be his home.  Mrs. Buckley was the debutante daughter of a self-made Vancouver industrialist.  She was provided with the proper education for a young Vancouver lady.  Mr. and Mrs. Buckley met while he was attending Yale; she was his sister’s roommate at Vassar.

Certainly they epitomized preppy values such as conservatism, consistency, and noblesse oblige.  But what confirms their entry in the Prep Pantheon is perhaps the most important value of all prepdom---privacy.  As Christopher Buckley so aptly states, “For public people, they could be rather private.”

True Prep and the Needlepoint Belt

Having placed my pre-order for True Prep months ago, it was with increasing apprehension that I awaited its arrival. Would I love it?  Would I hate it?  Would it come anywhere near to living up to its predecessor?  

I assumed that my favorite preppy blogs would be awash with reviews of True Prep soon after its release.  The silence is deafening.  My own mixed feelings have kept me from posting for days, but here goes!  My review will be delivered in several posts as the whim strikes.

It has been thirty years since TOPH was first published, yet it still gives readers a sense of the timelessness that is the true hallmark of preppiness.  There is so much in TOPH that remains relevant after thirty years.  A twelve-year-old could pick up an old copy and make sense of it despite the lack of coverage of the internet, Facebook, and texting.  Sadly, True Prep is already dated, but so are the clothes that you bought at Tory Burch last year. 

Lisa Birnbach knows her stuff, but I get the sense that True Prep was written, not for those of us who remember the Reagan administration, but for those who were born after 1980.  Perhaps the preppies of newer vintage will feel that this new version speaks to them (or for them).  I would love to hear from the under-thirty crowd on this point.

What gets under my skin in this new version is the focus on buying prep style instead of living preppy.  As I will say many times, pink and green does not the preppy make!  Case in point, an authentic preppy knows better than to buy a needlepoint belt (TP page 105), for goodness sakes!  Stitched in China?  My word!  Any authentic preppy knows that you shouldn’t don a needlepoint belt unless you can tell admirers exactly which family member stitched it for you and upon which life event it was presented.  (This rule applies to all needlepoint items, fictitious relatives permitted!)

I don’t want for my readers to think that I am not recommending buying True Prep.  You will certainly need a copy of both books to receive your diploma from The Prep Pantheon.  I just wonder if anyone else feels the same longing for those simpler days of the 1980’s when you actually mailed letters to your friends at prep school and stood in line in the dorm hallway to use the payphone?